heroes | Mobashar Qureshi (The Author)

It’s interesting to see the debate of who would win if Jason Bourne ever met James Bond.

These two literary constructions would be fascinating if ever they were on the same page. Mind you, as far as what they are in on the actual page, by Robert Ludlum (Bourne) and Ian Fleming (Bond) they are entirely different on the big screen. I will not focus on the literary creations but on the ones on the silver screen. I think this would be more fun.

Descriptions:

Jason Bourne: Rugged, gritty, and unrefined. Habitually monogamous. Casually dressed. Relies heavily on intelligence and quick-thinking.

James Bond: Suave, debonair, and sophisticated. A habitual womanizer. Impeccably dressed. Relies heavily on his charm and fancy gadgets.

Who am I?

Bourne suffers from amnesia and he spends the trilogy (Bourne Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum) piecing together his history. Along the way we learn his real name (I won’t mention it for those who haven’t watched the trilogy yet—what are you waiting for people?).

Bond…James Bond

Bond doesn’t have the same problem as Bourne. Or maybe he does and in order to remember his name he repeats it. What’s interesting is he’s a spy with no need of introductions but he still does it, twice!

Stylistic differences

Bourne blows up things only when it is absolutely necessary, whereas Bond will detonate a building because, well, he’s James Bond, and he can.

Bourne will avoid killing someone, instead will either knock them out, shoot them in the leg, or just break a bone or two (but nothing fatal), whereas, Bond will shoot to kill, his favourite: the hard-working employees of the super-villains (those poor souls who show up with machine guns but never once manage to hit Bond).

Bourne will do anything to avoid bringing any attention to him. He wants to be left alone. In Bourne Supremacy he hid in Goa, India and preferred a good run on the beach. Bond on the other hand wants to be the center of attention, everything he does says ‘I’m James Bond and you’re not.’

The big question is who would win if they were to go head to head? If I were a betting man I would say Jason Bourne, hands down. Here would be the scenario.

Bond enters the room, dressed in a tuxedo, and announces he is James Bond, twice.

He gets himself a drink, Martini, shaken not stirred.

He spots a beautiful woman and charms her.

As he’s heading back to his room, unknown to him, a man has broken into the building through a window on another floor. He procures a ball point pen, which he’ll easily be able to pass through security (if the building had one).

As an inebriated Bond gets to his bedroom door a man swiftly moves past him, and with the ball point pen, stabs him in the thigh and neck, and disappears, perhaps, scaling down the outside wall of the building.

With his major arteries severed Bond is rendered incapacitated.

Now this may seem like a diss to James Bond, but believe me, it is not, James Bond is the epitome of longevity—a character who has endured decades of change. Now why is that? The simple answer is: James Bond is a male fantasy. The common man wants to be James Bond. He dresses well, he beds beautiful women, he kills with no repercussions, and he has all the fancy toys anyone could ever want.

Who do I prefer? I will have to say Jason Bourne. Bourne feels real, there is something relatable about him. He could be a spy in today’s fast-paced, complex and paranoid world. He would survive any situation thrown at him.

So James Bond can have all the clothes, women, and toys, I would not be envy of him, Jason Bourne doesn’t need them and he manages quite fine. Well, maybe there is one thing I wouldn’t mind having. James Bond’s,

Aston Martin

BatmanBegins8 Growing up I read comic books. And lots of them. X-men, Spiderman, Superman, Spawn, and in turn also watched their subsequent movie versions. Some I liked while others I didn’t. There’s one character whose comics I never got into reading but greatly enjoyed the movie versions. And that’s Batman. Okay, let’s forget the last one Batman and Robin with George Clooney as Batman. That one was a mistake and should never have been made but Batman Begins with Christian Bale as Batman makes up for it, and in a big way.

So what is so appealing about Batman? Here is a character that has no super powers but yet is as old as Superman. He can’t fly, but glides. Can’t dodge bullets, but has a bulletproof suit. Can’t magically disappear, but uses diversions (smoke bombs, shadows) to escape. Then why is he such an intriguing character? Maybe, he is dark and at times just as vicious as the villains. Maybe, that is why he is referred to as the Dark Knight. Maybe, he is more human, and therefore, more flawed than any superhero out there.

Here are 5 reasons why I’d want to be Batman:

1) He is a billionaire. Who wouldn’t want to be filthy rich and be the owner of a company like Wayne Enterprises? Wayne Manor looks like a mini Medieval Castle. Not only does he get to do charitable work through his company he also has money to spare on toys.

2) With that extra cash he can develop whatever he wants, and he does, the Batmobile. Here is a hot rod that looks super cool and also has a jet engine in the back that can blow fire! Not to mention the numerous concealed weapons this vehicle has. Speeding ticket? Shazaam! Tailgating? Kapow! Parallel parking between two cars? Bang! Problem cleared.

3) Obviously, where is he going to park his Batmobile? He can’t just pull up in front of his driveway, open the garage door and park his one-of-a-kind vehicle without having some annoying neighbour ask him stupid questions, like, how much gas does it take or fast can it go, or even how much is the insurance. So, he creates the Bat Cave. A secret, state-of-the-art underground hideaway, developed underneath Wayne Manor, where he can park his Batmobile without anyone knowing. The Bat Cave also has a huge TV screen.

4) He’s rich, has the Batmobile and also the Bat Cave so what does he do? He goes and helps those that are in need. But he can’t just do that looking like an average Joe. So he gets himself the Batsuit. A full black, Kevlar suit, with muscles already chiseled out, and a mask that would strike fear in any super villain. Plus, the Batsuit comes with a utility belt that has all the gadgets he’d ever need: grappling gun, smoke bombs, batarangs.

5) He’s got everything he needs, but he still needs someone to watch over him, someone to confide in, and someone to mentor him and get him out of tight spots. He needs Alfred, his butler and surrogate father. Without him Bruce Wayne would be nothing but a rich, spoiled kid. It is Alfred who guides him and is there for him when he needs him.

Above all, Batman feels real. If you get the above YOU too can be Batman.

As a kid when I saw the 1989 Batman movie with Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne/Batman and Jack Nicholson as the Joker, I remember getting chills and excited with those now immortal lines when Bruce Wayne in costume is holding a thug off a ledge and the thug asks him, terrified, “W-what are you?”

Bruce Wayne pulls him closer and calmly and icily says, “I’m Batman.”