Avoid Parking Tickets by Jon Rupret

(ten humorous ways to save money by the hero of RACE)

  1. Don’t block driveways. (Unless it’s your neighbour who refuses to return your lawn mover, hairdryer, rake, paper clips and other essentials in life)
  2. Keep your distance from fire hydrants. (Permitted only if you are a dog)
  3. Watch for signs on the street. (They are pictures on poles that tell you what you are supposed to be doing. They are also for people who are dyslexic)
  4. Park safely at schools. (No road rage allowed in this area, some of these kids know karate)
  5. Don’t leave your car idling. (Major cause of death for cyclists is second-hand exhaust smoke)
  6. Don’t park in the disabled zone. (Seriously, that is a crime, punishable by hanging)
  7. Stay away from corners. (Going around them at high speeds can make you dizzy)
  8. Check the meters. (Park on those that still have money left in them and when they expire go to the next one. Not only will it save you money but it is fun)
  9. Parking at bus stops is not allowed. (Remember, you are driving a tiny Japanese model while the bus driver is on a ten-ton Godzilla. Chances of being crushed is probable)
  10. Read RACE. (It’s funny but showing a copy to the parking officer will only get you a larger fine)